Sunday, June 30, 2013

Politics! YAY!

So today was an interesting day for me. At the end of our day at church supporting my daughter's freedom of religion, the Deacon came up to me and invited me to join our congregation's representatives at a political conference in Phoenix, AZ to discuss some of the current issues that are affecting our community. Barring the religious aspect of this campaign, it is a tremendous opportunity for someone of little means and resources, like myself, to finally be heard. There are so many things that I feel strongly about. Human rights being the biggest (and realistically, the only) one. I am completely unsure of the topic that the most current conference, but I have been told that there are several of these conferences coming up. I really hope I can make a difference.

Thursday, June 20, 2013

Define American

So this weekend I was told that basically because I am poor and voted Democrat, that it is questionable about whether or not I am "anti-American". This same person, when I was 17 and pregnant, tried to get my to marry one of his illegal co-workers because, "he's a good worker and I'd hate to lose him." At which point I was accused of being racist because I wouldn't agree to it and marry someone I didn't love (not the first time mind you that this particular person accused me of such a thing). Tonight I sit here and think about what it means to be an American. As an American, it is our duty to follow the news, register to vote and select who we feel is the best candidate. To honor our country, accept the President elected by the people, obey laws and honor our flag. [I'm going to stop here for a moment to mention that honoring our flag does not include reciting the words "under God" but to stand up, place your right hand over your heart and pledge allegience to the flag of the United States of America.] We, as Americans are free to think for ourselves and believe whatever we desire to believe. I was born in the United States of America, I do support our Constitution. I believe ALL men, women and children were created equal, no matter race, gender, creed, color, religion, or sexual orientation. I am NOT anti-American, I am pro-humanity, pro-compassion, and pro-freedom of choice. Tonight I will go to bed proud to be Melodie Ann Bowman and the next time anyone tries to question my dedication to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness (any damn way I see fit to find it) I will cut them out of my life for good.

Sometimes I just get tired of being told what to think/feel...

Religion vs Gay Marriage

Religion vs Gay Marriage
(I never really finished this post, I found it in my drafts and figured I'd put it up)

I am not sure how one relates to the other.

Marriage in a church, performed by a member of clergy: Religion

Marriage performed in a courtroom by a judge: Civil

As far as I know, the church has the option to allow, or not, weddings to be performed by their clergy and on their sites at their own discretion.

I know the church my daughter goes to does not even perform ceremonies for non-pledging members in good standing. I would think that would be pretty standard at most churches.

If the specific church was not supportive of gay marriage, they likely would not have pledging members in good standing that were gay.

Separation of Church and State: The government shall pass no law that honors any religious institution.

Why are there laws passed to preserve the sanctity of marriage if not for religious purposes?

In some research I learned that marriage was originally the equivalent to selling off your child in order to provide for the rest of your family.

Marriage did not originate from love.

Marriage licensing by the state was intended to regulate and limit incest.

Marriage according to the Bible is between a man and a woman and divorce is frowned upon. Second marriages following a divorce seemed to be non-existent. Although adultery is a violation of the 10 commandments, it seems to run rampant in the Bible.

Old Testament rules seemed to have been disregarded in the New Testament.

Old Testament = Hebrew   /   New Testament = Christian

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Bad Day

Yesterday something happened that triggered an apparent panic attack, but I don't know what it was.

Around 2 PM I was playing online and all of the sudden my heart rate went up noticeably a lot. I got up to go to the bathroom and I almost fell over backwards onto the toilet from the dizziness. As it progressed I worried about it and looked it up online, I got the "Alert! seek immediate emergency services" warning. I disregarded it because there was no chest pain. I was relieved when I finally got to the possible diagnosis list and on it were both Panic Attack and General Anxiety Disorder. Since I have previously been diagnosed with General Anxiety Disorder I assumed that was the one.

At 3 o'clock I had to go out and get my kids from the bus. I was still feeling pretty crappy and mostly tired and short of breath by this point. But I sucked it up and just took care of business. Once we got back to the house, about 3:30 PM, I laid on the couch and watched the History Channel in hopes that I would eventually calm my heart and relax. I fell asleep. At about 6:30 PM I woke up and went upstairs to bed. My kids were really good, I guess because they could tell I wasn't feeling well, they did all their chores and fed themselves. (We have lists and schedules because my son is Autistic and so as a general rule now they are pretty self sufficient) I woke up about 8:45 PM and realized I had to take care of a few household things before going to bed for the night. I guess whatever it was had passed because I was wide awake and able to tend to the cat litter box and turn off everything around the house and lock up. By 9:30 PM I was back to bed and in for the night.

I woke up this morning with a terrible back ache, undoubtedly from all the laying down with my Degenerative Disk Disease. Today I feel fine. A little guilty about yesterday, but mostly fine.

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Sometimes Family Sucks

I've had a rough day just from one person's rotten comments. I expected more from her and I grew up thinking she had everything. I wanted to be just like her. As an adult I realized I didn't want to be like her, but I still had this idea of her that kept her high up in my heart. About a month ago, she brought reality crashing down, my spirit and idea were crushed. This morning, she cemented over top of the idea with hate in such a way that it suffocated and died. So now, even a jackhammer can't rescue my idea. Now my heart just hurts in the way that one feels when a loved one passes away. Hopefully the idea won't haunt me like a ghost for the rest of eternity.

I wrote this on facebook about some things my aunt said to me. I guess as I have gotten older I have realized my ideas about my family were created whilst wearing rose colored glasses...

BTW, I logged on to post this and noticed I've reached over 1000 page views! That is awesome. Thank you for reading and I'm sorry I haven't been on much.